the beauty

the beauty of the Gospel is that it is the same every day. 

the beauty of love is that it grows.

the beauty of the sun is that it cancels out the rain.

the beauty of life is that it is a gift. 

the beauty of hurt is that it provides a place to come up from.

the beauty of suffering is that there is a God waiting to offer us comfort.

the beauty of humanity is that it glorifies our Creator and His perfection. 

the beauty of kids is that they remind you how to laugh. 

the beauty of friends is that they are there with open arms and ears. 

the beauty of family is that they are morally obliged to love you, and choose to anyways. 

the beauty of the Lord is in His grace and mercy, His wisdom, His love, and His Son. 

I can almost lick my elbow!

But not quite.  Oh well.  I was really excited until I recognized that the elbow only encompasses that scaly weird patch on the back of my arm.

Chronicles of life, lately.

6:30 am.  Hear the alarm for the first time.  Wish it didn't exist.  Remember that I have to be at my internship every day this semester.  And that I can make pancakes AND spend time in the Word if I get up right now.

6:40 am.  Actually get up.

8 am.  Arrive at school.  Spend hours walking around asking kids to stop talking.  Sneeze a lot. 

4 pm.  Leave school.  Attempt to head home and do work, grade stuff, plan lessons, etc.  End up passed out on the bed. 

8 pm.  Gym time.  Exhaustion from the stairmaster leads to great sleep, which means I'm slightly less yawn-y during the day.  Maybe.

9 pm.  Back to bed. 

10 pm.  Realize how lame my life is this semester. 


7:20 pm, Monday, January 24, 2011.  Thank God that He is with me every step of the way, that He chose me to teach the young minds of tomorrow, that He laid out Himself in the beautiful Word, that He died to save my soul, and that even when I feel really lost in life, He is there. 

7:21 pm.  Thank God He created chocolate chips. 

Let's be real

So a family that I adore (and not just because they're Tarheel fans!) let me borrow the book Abba's Child the last time I stopped by their house.  I'm finally getting around to reading it, and I'm sorry that I didn't read it before now.  They weren't kidding when they said it was great and a book they often revisit.  So far I've read the first two chapters, one about overcoming our fear of our own depravity to give ourselves over to God and facing the impostor self that we present to the world.  Both of these have really hit home with me, especially as I work to find out who I am, freed by the grace of God to be the person He created. 

I don't know about you, but I'm terrified of facing myself.  I've seen my capacity to sin and it's scary.  Not like I've been secretly sneaking out at night to kill people in the streets (never watching Lifetime ever again...), but just the rebellion and stubbornness of my heart amaze me.  My heart and my soul and my mind want to follow Christ and glorify Him in every way and at every turn, but sometimes I'm just lazy, or I make the wrong choice, or I'm distracted by my own silly whims.  When I stop and look at this self that is so deep within me, I'm terrified of the Father, horrified that He might see that self and reject me.  But that's just it, He's seen that all along and still adores me.  He still thinks I'm beautiful and calls me His and is just waiting for me to recognize that I'm nothing without Him and His grace. 

Then there's the face we put on for the world, and even for ourselves.  Like a face full of makeup, we hide behind our masks to avoid confronting our issues.  Except, it's like the line around someone's face who is wearing the absolute wrong color foundation, you can see that it doesn't match up.  My public face has changed over the years, morphed along with what my desires are, but somewhere deep inside of me is still my heart, filled with longing for acceptance and unconditional love.  If I'm not showing that heart to myself, those around me, and even the Lord, then how will I ever experience real unconditional love?  All that's being loved is the facade I'm hiding behind, which only leaves me feeling continually empty. 

I don't want to feel empty.  Christ didn't die for my put-on face, He died for the ungodly and came to save the lost.  In that is His beauty, His glory, His mercy displayed.  And my thanks has been to hide from Him the person that I am.

I'm a sinner. 
But I am redeemed by His grace. 
THANK YOU JESUS!!!